Description
This fashion-forward selection is a comfortable, soft, lightweight, and form-fitting slice of outfit architecture
We made it specifically to enhance your social status.
Younger people will tell you to “skibidi your toilet” and how they are “gagged that ur drip melted the cheugy clout-chasers… sheesh”. That means fashionable if you are over 40. All them mfers sound like Pauley Shore to me, so don’t quote me on that. All I know about today’s youth is, if they start smiling at you like Epstein at a junior prom and pulling out their phones to record you, smash their device and leave. They vape to much to run after you.
The artwork is from a Bitcoin Ordinal with a working musical sampler inscribed into the segregated witness data which verifies the transaction of a decentralized global store of value, featuring rap legends like Ghostface Killah.
This is the only true thing I’ve written in any of these descriptions. Memorize that. And when someone asks you what your shirt means, just start repeating that shit like the Manchurian Candidate in a monotone voice, like it’s annoying to have to explain it to them.
This is how you style bomb on these bitches
• Made with 100% salvaged pre-war cotton. You know which war. This is the last of the cotton from the you know who’s. So look… either way you want this shirt. If you uuhhh… lets just say hypothetically you are the kind of guy who really enjoys a good Call Of Duty lobby… know what I mean,.. not the game, just really partakes in the unfiltered fellowship one can have while playing Modern Warfare… against a 15-year-old in Atlanta… at 2am. Yeah, if you are that guy. Then wouldn’t you like to walk around with the cotton from… ya know? Don’t make me say it. I dont have to tell you, because you probably pushed “Purchase NOW” once i said pre-war cotton.
Now if you hate that kind of guy… as you should… well don’t let him win. Buy as many of these shirts as you can to keep that racist from owning the blood, sweat, and tears of such an abominable institution. Unless, you are not really for the cause… sad face. Then you might as well join him on Rumble because he has some videos about whats REALLY going on he’d love to show you. Exactly… you don’t want that, so dig deep. Buy it out of spite. Buy it to deprive that bastard. You are a way better person than him. Hate will never beat Love as long as Love pays with American Express.
• I’ll be honest… not much left in the tank after the slavery cotton thing. I’m gonna be on cruise control for the rest of this description. Nothing tops out my creative writing like trying to lasso the racial tension in this country to make a fast buck. I feel like a news anchor.
• Now I’m gonna just do fun facts. Did you know wombats poop cubes?
• Did you know that Koala bears have chlamydia? I got a theory on this. It involves a bunch of people from England getting off of Sex Criminal Boat and seeing a slow-moving bear with a big ass and big round eyes and just treating it like a hairy Fleshlight. That’s also why the kangaroo puts their babies in pouches. A few hundred years ago, all they did was put food in there, but they saw what happened to the koala and didn’t want Buggering Bruce to lift their little joeys tail up for a hot rogering. Which is also why the Tekken character is named Roger… who is (drumroll) a Kangaroo. Also on a sad note it’s why those bears just get high on eucalyptus all day. Generational PTSD from some dungeon dweller that talks like a Guy Richie movie, piping their ancestors down with unimaginable vigor. Also this is why every animal in Australia is trying to get their lick back and kill you.
Ok… we made it through that. Im proud of us.
Be honest… at what point did you forget this was about a shirt?
You probably forgot about the source of that cotton halfway through the koala piping… you need to buy things from this website before i use my powers for evil.
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This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order. There is a man in a basement who will be woke up if he is sleep and told to get to work as soon as ur card clears, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Sometimes he tries to escape and do the writing backwards shit on the windows and he needs a bit of straightening. We find making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, also trying to catch a warehouse full of these mf’ers is wild hard and then John Law starts asking mad questions… so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!
Age restrictions: For adults
EU Warranty: 2 years
Other compliance information: Meets the flammability, lead, cadmium, bisphenols and phthalates level requirements.
In compliance with the General Product Safety Regulation (GPSR), Oak inc. and SINDEN VENTURES LIMITED ensure that all consumer products offered are safe and meet EU standards. For any product safety related inquiries or concerns, please contact our EU representative at gpsr@sindenventures.com. You can also write to us at 123 Main Street, Anytown, Country or Markou Evgenikou 11, Mesa Geitonia, 4002, Limassol, Cyprus.
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