Counterparty OG Hat

Description

Lets be clear…. some of this crypto shit is like LA gang politics, so if you dont know what this hat is you might not want to cop it

This is the mega O.G. hat. You are gonna run into some early Ethereum people who may get a P.T.S.D. Vietnam flashback of people calling them “cucks” and “feds” and telling them “everything that’s not Bitcoin is a TESTNET”.

When they see this joint, it’s like the FLAG of the PIRATE. Remember in Lord Of The Ring? When the little British feller with the Steve Booshemmy eyes pulled that glowing sword out and all the goblin creatures backed off? YES YOU FUCKING DO, because you know what… look we are gonna just have to be a little honest with each other if you are gonna read these. I know… I’m a rapper and mad funny, but I’ve also seen every episode of Stargate like 90 times… so I’m a nerd too… It’s ok… You have more bitcoins than the people who don’t get our jokes. So they can go suck a high hard one. Anyway, the goblin sword will be like Ordinals people or something… i don’t know, I lost track of the thing I was saying.

But yeah… head on a swivel, because to wear a luxurious Counterparty O.G. Hat is like a royal crown. Those who recognize the symbol will bow and offer you a bit of the sacrament or some reefers. This is like a Purple Heart on a military jacket… probably better to be honest. Because instead of assuming you got anger issues and potentially married a stripper, they think you got MAD bitcoins and expensive jpegs. Wearing this hat lets the world know they are looking at a LEGEND!

You may get asked if you want some free frog stickers or a hand job under the bleachers. Take that shit. You earned it. Probably dine on some sweet Hossenfeffer back at your palatial estate.

Do you own several Nakamoto cards? Shit, u might?? Look at that HAT. This is like a leather trenchcoat in the 80’s. Fashion-forward with a little bit of criminal INTENT.

Wear it backwards and let your robe hang open when you get your DoorDash. Be liberated. The delivery driver will be like “NICE dick munchacho” and give you a fist bump.

• 100% hand-woven by the core devs… even the ones you are mad at. Because statistically speaking, if you know what this hat is, you are mad at somebody.

• 6-panel unstructured cap with a low profile… like a cop. People might also think you’re a cop in this joint so don’t try to buy weed or be wild nefarious in it. Not legal advice. For that you will need the Hydro Flask.

• “Thick Black Sweatband…” which coincidentally used to be my stripper name.

• “Metal Snap Buckle featuring an Antique Brass Finish…” which was my dad and uncle’s stripper names… they were a duo. Used to jump out of birfday cake at bachelorette parties. They had a finishing move called the “47 Chinook”. It would sound gay if i described it but it was “VERY HETERO” and you probably couldn’t do it because you don’t have the core strength. I can feel the judgment brewing, but lets just say two things

1. You are buying a COUNTERPARTY HAT… so your browser history is chaos

2. If you think it’s so easy to get the today’s equivalent of $8,200 out of 11 women in a Howard Johnson’s, with nothing more than your brothers help and some grit and determination, MAN, Give it a whirl, and tell me how it works out for you. Those men were HEROES.

• Split panel version has the trucker effect for the inner hipster in you. Perhaps you missed that era… jerkoffs had wired rotary phone handsets they plugged into their iPhone 4 to be unnecessarily trendy. They were insufferable, but definitely had lawyer monies, so you thought twice before violencing them. You could definitely overcharge him for drugs though. I’m talking like $150 for a snooch of that Dolomite. That guy is mad conservative now and has a lot of opinions on traditional women and does red pill manosphere crazy. Either that or he is engaged to a woman with blue hair that he met at a protest. They had a gender reveal for their cat, and he works as the cashier of a store that only sells mustard in whatever part of Brooklyn he rides his fixie bike to.

• Counterparty hats do not necessarily endow you with the powers of L-1 Bitcoin. So don’t go trying to lawyer up if you get slipped a Rufus at Art Basel, because a cocktail waitress recognised it and assumed you were in possession of massive Bit-Corns and wanted to honeypot ur Jack Johnson to get that “private key”. You can check the terms and conditions of this website or call our customer service line if you experience ANY dissatisfactions. We aim to please, like Luigi, or a subway masturbator.

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This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order. There is a man in a basement who will be woke up if he is sleep and told to get to work as soon as ur card clears, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Sometimes he tries to escape and do the writing backwards shit on the windows and he needs a bit of straightening. We find making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, also trying to catch a warehouse full of these mf’ers is wild hard and then John Law starts asking mad questions… so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!

Age restrictions: For adults and people who dress up like Arnold from Happy Days so they can keep their marriage spicy.
EU Warranty: 2 years

In compliance with the General Product Safety Regulation (GPSR), Oak inc. and SINDEN VENTURES LIMITED ensure that all consumer products offered are safe and meet EU standards. For any product safety related inquiries or concerns, please contact our EU representative at gpsr@sindenventures.com. You can also write to us at 123 Main Street, Anytown, Country or Markou Evgenikou 11, Mesa Geitonia, 4002, Limassol, Cyprus.